Monologue | Aired Monday night on CBS: A big show last night, right here on CBS. The annual Emmy Awards television broadcast. What a show that was. My God, I thought we outlawed torture!... MORE

Monologue | Aired Monday night on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" on NBC: Big news this weekend. President Obama was everywhere. He became the first president to appear on five Sunday morning talk shows. Five talk shows in one day. Even Heidi and Spencer were like, "Tone it down!" ... MORE

Monologue | Aired Monday night on NBC: At last night's Dallas Cowboys game, President Bush was spotted sitting next to John Madden. Well, actually, a lot of people were spotted sitting next to John Madden. Large man.... MORE

Monologue | Aired Monday night on NBC: President Obama was on a record five Sunday TV shows yesterday. Five. I don't want to say he's on too much, but today, Kate Gosselin said, "He's overexposed. He needs to pull back."... MORE

Your Jokes |Kanye West called Taylor Swift to personally apologize. He had the operator break into whatever call she was on at the time. -- Jerry Perisho, Whittier, Calif.... MORE

Monologue | Aired Friday night on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" on ABC: Right now, in Washington, DC they're holding something called the "Values Voters Summit." This is a gathering of conservative activists. During the day, they get together and talk about values in politics and then at night, they sneak hookers up to their hotel rooms. ... MORE

Monologue | Aired Friday night on NBC: Chicago hoping to be picked as the host city for the 2016 Summer Olympic Games. Well... they say the big concern is security. And whether or not Chicago could handle a disaster if it occurred. Hey, they handle the Cubs. That's a disaster that happens every single year. ... MORE

Monologue | Aired Friday night on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" on NBC: Now, today is Friday, and that's usually when I catch up on some personal stuff. Well, I'm running a little but behind today. So, I thought that if you guys wouldn't mind, I'd just like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. "Thank you, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, for saying that ... MORE

Monologue | Aired Friday night on NBC: Busy weekend for the President. This Sunday, President Obama is going to appear on five different television shows. Even more amazing, on all five shows, he plays the wacky neighbor.... MORE

Video | Science has discovered that using cute kids to illustrate deferred-gratification research yields video that makes you go, "Awww."... MORE

Parody | "Book Titles, if They Were Written Today," from Your Monkey Called:Then: "Walden." Now: "Camping with Myself: Two Years in American Tuscany."... MORE

Video | Imagining Indiana Jones as a hero of an earlier time. Forrest Gump too.... MORE

Monologue | Aired Thursday night on "The Jay Leno Show": Well, according to Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, he says the recession is over. You know, where is that you "Lie guy!" when you need him?... MORE

Monologue | Aired Thursday night on "The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien": Yesterday, Jennifer Lopez was at the White House. And she got a private tour of the Oval Office. So, for once, the biggest ass at the White House wasn't Joe Biden.... MORE

Monologue | Aired Thursday night on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon": Dick Cheney is having surgery today to relieve his lower back pain. And do you know how they administered the anesthesia? They just shot it right in his face.... MORE

Parody | Rapper's interruption of Taylor Swift at the MTV awards creates an Internet sensation.... MORE

Monologue | Aired Wednesday night on "The Jay Leno Show": Well, here's a story that won't go away. Congressman Joe Wilson has refused Democrats' demand to apologize to Congress on the House floor, to which Kanye West said, "I'll do it. That's okay, I'll do it."... MORE

Monologue | Aired Wednesday night on "The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien": Kanye West continues to be the big story these days. President Obama yesterday created quite a stir, because he apparently called Kanye West a "jackass." Well, some people are upset with President Obama for calling Kanye a "jackass." And Joe Biden is furious, because "Jackass" is his Secret Service ... MORE

Monologue | Aired Wednesday night on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon": Yesterday, former President Jimmy Carter said that Congressman Joe Wilson's outburst during President Obama's speech last week was based on racism. When Joe Wilson heard that, he said, "I can't get mad at Jimmy Carter. He's white."... MORE

Your Jokes | Now it looks as if Congress is trying to derail health care reform on a bipartisan basis. So nice to see them working together. -- Will Durst... MORE

Video | A low-budget ad for a Birmingham, Ala., restaurant, evidently. Hungry? Watching this might cure that.... MORE

Monologue | Aired Tuesday night on "The Jay Leno Show": This Kanye West/Taylor Swift thing will not go away. Even former President Bush spoke out about it today. He said, "Kanye West doesn't care about white people."... MORE

Monologue | Aired Tuesday night on "The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien": According to some reports coming out of Washington today, President Obama said Kanye West is a "jackass." Not since "yes, we can" has Obama found a slogan so many Americans can get behind.... MORE

Monologue | Aired Tuesday night on "The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien": According to some reports coming out of Washington today, President Obama said Kanye West is a "jackass." Not since "yes, we can" has Obama found a slogan so many Americans can get behind.... MORE

Monologue | Aired Tuesday night on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon": Even the President is talking about Kanye West. Did you hear about this? In an off the record remark recorded by ABC, Obama said that Kanye West was a quote, unquote, "jackass." In even bigger news, ABC doesn't understand the meaning of the phrase "quote, unquote, off the record."... MORE

Video | The Slim Jims may be ancient, but for a while there this Puyallup, Wash., store had the freshest beef in town (news story here).... MORE

Your Jokes | High drama in the House of Representatives yesterday, as Congressman Joe Wilson stood in the well of the chamber, looked his colleagues in they eye, and apologized to all Americans for Kanye West. -- Marc Ragovin, New York... MORE

Video | Excerpts from Monday night's monologue.... MORE

Monologue | Aired Monday night on "The Jay Leno Show":Been a busy week for President Obama. I notice that he's having Kanye West and Taylor Swift to the White House for a "root beer summit" this weekend. See, she's only 19. So, it's got to be root beer.... MORE

Monologue | Aired Monday night on "The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien": Osama bin Laden has released a new audio recording slamming the President, America, Israel and the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. Then at the end, when he's really worked up, he yells, "And Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time!"... MORE

Monologue | Aired Monday night on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon": Osama bin Laden released a new 11-minute audio tape, where he calls President Obama powerless in the war in Afghanistan. Well, that was the first six minutes. He gave Taylor Swift the last five to finish her acceptance speech.... MORE

Monologue | Aired Monday night on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon": Osama bin Laden released a new 11-minute audio tape, where he calls President Obama powerless in the war in Afghanistan. Well, that was the first six minutes. He gave Taylor Swift the last five to finish her acceptance speech.... MORE

Video | All the '60s ennui of the show in a fraction of the time.... MORE

Your Jokes | I love the fact that parents kept their kids out of school to avoid Obama's subversive message, which was, to stay in school. -- Will Durst... MORE

News Parody | From The Onion: Thousands of Abandoned, Foreclosed Homes Threatened by Florida Hurricane... MORE

Video | In the so-bad-it's-good category, we have what this YouTube post describes as a "fat Russian singer who looks like Newt Gingrich" in a sailor suit channeling Paul McCartney.... MORE

Incoming | From the "20 most bizarre Craigslist adverts of all time" in the Telegraph of London.... MORE

Video | BBC newsman has surprising revelation.... MORE

Monologue | Aired Friday night on "The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien": Today, one of President Obama's advisers called Joe Wilson, the guy who heckled the President, "a pimple on the ass of progress." Then the adviser stressed that removing a pimple from the ass of progress would be covered by Obama's healthcare plan.... MORE

Monologue | Aired Friday night on "The Late Show With David Letterman": To battle the swine flu, here's what they're saying. It's not just the C.D.C. It's also the President of the United States -- avoid human contact. I call that my weekend.... MORE